A retroactive retcon of retro videogames to include the achievements we all achieved.
Tetris: Cover a perfectly setup single unit gap with a badly-rotated I Block
Duck Hunt: Get a high score by jamming the light gun right up the glass of the TV
Super Mario Bros: Eat two mushrooms in a row
Super Mario Bros 3: Slip behind the scenery
Super Mario 64: Discover Yoshi on the roof
The Sims: Remove the ladder from the pool
Sim City: Try to reduce the roads budget
Track and Field: Use a ruler to rapidly press the sprint buttons
Pokemon: Evolve a Magikarp
Pokemon: Capture all 151 pokemon thereby driving the local ecosystem in the ground
Pokemon: Encounter Missingno and the 6th item glitch
Streets of Rage: Eat a turkey while on full health when your teammate is near death
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Eat a pizza while on full health when your teammate is near death
Resident Evil: Save the Rocket Launcher for the final boss
Sonic the Hedgehog: Collect all the rings from Green Hill Zone 1
Red Alert: Defeat an opponent by building only one type of unit
Metal Gear Solid: See Meryl in her undergarments
Metal Gear Solid: Play the game on an emulator and get stuck on Psycho Mantis
Metal Gear Solid: Dies from smoking cigarettes
Goldeneye 64: Look at your friend’s screen while playing multiplayer
Monopoly: Play as the Banker and steal money from the box
Rollercoaster Tycoon: Raise the price of umbrellas to $50 during a rainstorm
Rollercoaster Tycoon: Rename a rollercoaster to ‘Casual Sex’ or ‘Your Mum’
Theme Hospital: Build ten drinks machines next to radiators
Any RPG: Reload and replay a crucial decision from an earlier save
Tomb Rader: Lock the butler in the freezer
GTA III: Fly the wingless Dodo for two minutes
Check out the Achievements Unlocked episode of the podcast
Alan & Craig unlock the mysteries of achievements. It’s mainly monkey brains and a music montage.
Right Click Here and ‘Save As’ to Download!
(A rewarding 14.7 Mb, 31:51)
What did we miss?: Share your retro achievements in the comments below!